Letter from My Big Brother

Date: September 2015

Sharing a letter from one of my older brothers which I came across today when cleaning out all my crap in the basement from my apartment that I had yet to unpack from 3 months ago as well as 21 almost 22-years-worth of random things that needed to be sorted through and/or thrown away (aka: way too many stuffed animals and pottery that I painted when I was like 7). It's just like Hunter to turn an ordinary observation as he people-watched into the most encouraging, Gospel-centered notes I've ever received. Hunter, my brother on earth and in Christ, is one of the wisest people I've ever known, and I am so incredibly grateful for his huge heart for Jesus as well as to simply call him my older bro! Reading this letter again 3 years later, I found myself just bawling in my basement because of how thankful I am that God put me into the greatest family of all time. I don't feel like I deserve it, but man...I honestly get left speechless when I just stop and think of the gift they all are in this earthly life.

To preface this letter: I was a complete wreck going into college. Did NOT want to go. Panic attacks were all too common that summer. Anxiety reached a new high. Self-conscious about everything. Satan tried to convince me day in and day out that I would never fit in being so introverted and reserved and that I wouldn't succeed academically, among other lies. To be completely blunt: I was scared shitless. It was a hard summer. Today when I was cleaning out my stuff in the basement, I was reminded of the heaviness I felt in my heart that summer going into college as I came across so many notes of encouragement from different family members. And as for this particular one, I can vividly remember reading these simple yet wise words from my brother that brought a great deal of peace and comfort and brightness into my heart again during these tough, emotional first couple weeks of college. 

~~~

"Little Sister, 

People are very different.

I'm sitting by this canal in downtown Indy trying to read and journal, but I can't stop watching the people running past me -- old women barely picking up their feet, groups of college girls talking the whole time. There are couples on bikes, a dad pushing a stroller and wearing a headband and dancing as he goes, and even some power walkers. It's pretty cool to watch them go by. They actually remind me of you. Today is September 6th [2015] and I knew I talked with you on the 4th, but I woke up today and felt bad for not wishing you a happy birthday yesterday. So...I'm sorry. Happy Birthday Janie!

Anyways... as I watch these runners and walkers and runners with walkers and think about you, I consider Psalm 139:14-16. It says, 'I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.'

Watching people run is actually really funny. Some people look like they're dying and others jiggle too much, but EVERYONE looks weird. Just watch and you'll see.

College is a weird time too. Strangers from all over come to live and learn together and no one really knows what they're doing. So, in order to feel accepted and normal, people start acting like one another. It's not always bad, but if everyone started running the exact same way, would I find the same joy in watching them? No!! Robots are lame. I think God feels the same way. He loves the differences in people. He CAREFULLY MADE those differences...for his purpose. It wasn't a slip of the hand that gave this lady a super weird stride. God even took extra time to put that hitch in her step. He made it for himself!

Janie, he made you for himself too. 

I bet you feel different than most of the students around you. You might feel like a slow learner or less of a people-person, but HE WANTED YOU TO BE THE WAY YOU ARE. You get to know God personally and in a way that nobody else even will.

Keep doing you Janie-poo. There's no right way to get through college just like there's no right way to exercise. Be ok with people who run faster and don't look down on people who run slower. LOVE YOUR STRIDE - God made it just the way he wanted. And you GET to run for fun because Jesus already ran and won for us. He said, "It is finished!" He made you to run for him, to him, and with the strength he supplies. God's children are very different, but we are all loved perfectly by our Father. That's cool.

I love you. Call me if you wanna chat!

- Hunter"

~~~

Hunter...Hunty-Boo...Doctor Buns...? If you're reading this, I love you and thank you. You're a wonderful big brother. Mwah!

And Forrest...FoFo...Eldest brother...Chief Two-Buns...? Don't forget I love you too. 

And God...thank you x1000000 for letting me be the lil sis to these two goobers.